My Testimony

I don't really have an exciting testimony, but I've decided to finally put it down to words.

I wasn't born into a christian family, contrary to what most people believe. Yes, I'm your so called 1st generation christian (another story for another day). I was brought to church with my family about age 7. Went through baptism, said the sinner's prayer as a kid. No clue what I was doing. Had friends that I could meet every sunday and play soccer with. Would a kid say no to going to church?

Grew into the teenage years, somehow rose to become a cell leader (more likely due to worldy leadership skills rather than spiritual maturity). Well, if you were to lead cell like leading a group of friends in a project, it may not be that hard. That was one side of me. Another side goes on with dreams of violence. Got into a few fights outside with and against people I don't know. Not many people know because its just a few. But these were the things that excited me. Still went to church on sundays, the friendship was and is still there. Mould my character on the reliance of friends, or should I say brotherhood.

Sports sort of took over when I entered JC. Soccer, canoeing, dragonboating and cycling became the most exciting things. Totally gave up on studying most of the time. Grades were poor but not end of the world yet. Had tough times at church during these years. No interest.
NS days were filled with disappointment. Never quite as fit as the rest. It was one thing to have good leadership skills but another when you struggled through the most basic physical tests. Outfield was fun on hindsight though. If there was soccer on sunday or duty on saturday stretching to sunday, skip church. No interest.
However, 2 things happened during these 4 and 1/2 years. I nearly died twice. 1st was when I crashed into the side railing of the road down Mt Faber. Going really fast and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor with my bike strewn across the road in pieces. I still believe I was hit from behind. I will never know. The 2nd was during an AI exercise overseas. As I was exiting the turret to join up with the rest of my platoon, my VC moved the turret before I could exit. My body was caught between the turret. If not for the SBO, my kicking at his legs and my runner screaming at the VC, turning the turret more might mean I'd be split in 2. The blue-blacks were there and the pain unforgettable, but the assault went on and I never really confronted him.

Still there wasn't much interest in christianity. It was only when I could not get into any tertiary institution and had to appeal to get into NYP health science faculty that God really spoke to me. He showed me that he had saved me for a reason. He made me realise my foolishness in my past pursuits. They were all fruitless. No matter how hard I thought I tried to get into a U to get a "better" future, I was never getting into them. He told me to rely on him and he will sort things out. I ended up in NYP on appeal thanks to my father's friend who happened to drink coffee at the same time we were waiting to appeal.

I've never looked back since. Soccer on sunday mornings take a second priority now, if not non-existant. My life is getting back on track. I try my mortal best to rely on him, but bad habits die hard. He is kind and will send timely reminders. I still have a lot of resentment to things but I thank God he listens and has offered to sort out my problems. I only hope I can do better in building my relationship with him. I would have to overcome laziness for that. But he will help.

Maturity maybe just pessimism and reluctance disguised under intelligent comments

You know as you grow up, adults will flock around certain young people and start ranting on non-stop about how mature he or she is for her age, being able to look after their siblings, understanding the adult's point of view, etc etc.  Are they really mature? Or are they actually just avoiding the issue totally? Who decides on maturity?

Some adults think when a youth agrees with their point of view, the kiddo must be damn mature. Possibly, the adult could be the immature one in the first place. Human nature dictates that we care for ourselves first. We were all born selfish. Only few have made it crossed the line into selflessness.

Some adults also have the mentality that if a kid can see the negatives like they do, maturity abounds within. How many people actually joyfully pick up other people's job/responsibilities or should I say, mess? Most jump to the quick conclusion that it's not my problem, why should I do so? Shouldn't they do their job? I've done my part. The next part of this is when they start picking out the negatives by highlighting their positives. Since I did my job well, the other guy is just lazy or useless. They don't know how to do such a simple job.

When a kid starting yakking away at how things should be done, how he would do so if he was responsible, how things are just unfair and yet does totally nothing to help the situation. Think twice, thrice before the "M" word goes into your train of thought.

Technologically challenged

Thank you to those who have come and read through my thoughts. I never thought anyone would come to visit. I just aired some of my thoughts, safe ones of course. However, I have not been able to post any new ones until now. Posts will become rare. You see, recently, technology has decided to collapse all around me. First my desktop gave up. Then, just as the revived laptop started to be showing signs of good health, it gave up. I have since reverted back to surfing the net with my ipod. That can only be described as surfing for the basics and nothing more.I had alot of lost posts/ideas that probably may not ever surface. That is the price I paid when technology got the better of finance.

Ha ha. I talk as if a lot of people visit this blog. As if.